Is It Just ‘The Ick’ or Could It Be ROCD? How an OCD IOP in Austin, TX Can Help
Have you ever felt a sudden, intense sense of discomfort or disgust toward your partner that seems to come out of nowhere? Maybe it’s a small quirk, a habit, or even a thought that triggers a wave of anxiety. Lately, people have been calling this phenomenon “the ick,” and it’s become a popular way to describe fleeting feelings of unease in romantic relationships. But what happens when these feelings are persistent, intrusive, and accompanied by constant doubt about your relationship? What you’re experiencing might not just be “the ick.” It could be Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD).
What Is Relationship OCD (ROCD)?
Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder where anxiety and intrusive thoughts focus on your romantic relationship or your partner. While it can appear similar to normal relationship doubts, the intensity, persistence, and impact on daily life set ROCD apart. People with ROCD may constantly question their feelings for their partner, worry excessively that they are not “right” for them, or obsess over imagined flaws in their partner. The thoughts can be distressing, repetitive, and almost impossible to dismiss, often leading to compulsive behaviors like seeking reassurance, checking social media, or mentally reviewing past interactions.
It’s easy to confuse ROCD with “the ick” because both involve feelings of discomfort or unease toward a partner. The key difference is in the persistence and intensity of the experience. While “the ick” is often fleeting and situational, ROCD is chronic, intrusive, and disruptive. People with ROCD often notice that these thoughts and doubts interfere with their ability to enjoy the relationship, make decisions, or even sleep. Daily functioning, social life, and emotional well-being can all be affected.
Understanding Rumination and Reassurance-Seeking in Relationship OCD
For those struggling with ROCD, it’s not just about feeling unsure. Intrusive thoughts may spiral into rumination, where you replay conversations, scrutinize your partner’s behaviors, or mentally compare them to others. Compulsions may appear as constant reassurance-seeking: asking friends if your partner is “good enough,” repeatedly checking your partner’s social media, or analyzing every small detail in your relationship. These behaviors often provide only temporary relief and can intensify anxiety over time.
Recognizing ROCD is the first step toward relief. According to the DSM-5-TR, obsessive-compulsive disorder, including ROCD, is a treatable mental health condition. This means that, like other forms of OCD, there are effective strategies and therapies that can help. Importantly, experiencing ROCD does not mean you’re a bad partner or that your relationship is doomed; it means your brain is responding to anxiety in a way that can be addressed with the right treatment.
Common Obsessions in ROCD
Partner-focused doubts
Worrying that your partner isn’t truly attracted to you.
Obsessing over imagined flaws in your partner’s appearance (e.g., body shape, facial features, grooming).
Doubts about your partner’s personality, intelligence, or values.
Fear that your partner isn’t “good enough” for you or that you aren’t “good enough” for them.
Relationship-focused doubts
Questioning whether the relationship is the “right” one.
Obsessing over whether the love or connection is real or genuine.
Fear of being in the wrong relationship or making a lifelong mistake.
Imagining scenarios where the relationship fails or that you could do better with someone else.
Sexual/physical attraction doubts
Obsessing about your level of attraction to your partner.
Worrying that your partner’s quirks, habits, or appearance are “deal-breakers.”
Worrying that you could be more attracted to others physically or sexually.
Fearing that attraction might fade or that you’re not sexually compatible.
Moral or value-based doubts
Questioning whether being with your partner aligns with your values.
Worrying that your partner is “wrong” for you ethically or morally.
Obsessing over whether staying in the relationship is “selfish” or a “mistake.”
Fear of permanence or commitment
Obsessing over whether engagement, cohabitation, or marriage is the right decision.
Anxiety about making long-term commitments based on imagined flaws.
Repeatedly questioning whether leaving or staying in the relationship is the “right choice.”
These obsessions are persistent, intrusive, and distressing, often leading to compulsive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety. Unlike normal relationship doubts, ROCD obsessions can dominate thoughts for hours and significantly interfere with daily life.
Common Compulsions in ROCD
Reassurance Seeking
Asking your partner repeatedly if they love you, find you attractive, or think you’re “good enough.”
Asking friends, family, or even strangers for opinions about your partner or relationship.
Constantly checking social media for evidence of your partner’s feelings or commitment.
Mental Reviewing and Checking
Ruminating on past conversations or interactions to detect mistakes or flaws.
Mentally comparing your partner to others or replaying events to assess compatibility.
Counting or evaluating your feelings for your partner to determine “rightness” of the relationship.
Physical Checking
Looking at your partner’s body, clothes, or appearance repeatedly for perceived imperfections.
Checking your own body or appearance for flaws that might make you less attractive to your partner.
Observing gestures, expressions, or tone of voice to interpret hidden meanings.
Avoidance Behaviors
Avoiding intimacy, emotional closeness, or commitment due to anxiety about the “rightness” of the relationship.
Skipping social events or interactions that trigger doubts about your partner.
Avoiding thinking about the future of the relationship to reduce anxiety.
Ritualized Behaviors
Making lists or “pros and cons” about your partner or relationship repeatedly.
Repeatedly checking texts, emails, or social media messages for signs of disinterest or incompatibility.
Performing mental rituals to neutralize anxiety, such as repeating phrases or counting.
Compulsive Research
Googling symptoms, relationship standards, or other people to compare your partner or relationship.
Obsessively reading forums, blogs, or advice columns about relationships.
Seeking endless information to justify staying or leaving the relationship.
Relationship Testing
Putting your partner through “tests” to see if they truly care or love you.
Creating scenarios in your mind to test loyalty or attraction.
Deliberately provoking reactions to assess the stability of the relationship.
ROCD can affect anyone in a relationship, regardless of age or relationship length. While it often starts in adolescence or young adulthood, adults in long-term relationships can also experience these symptoms. Left unaddressed, ROCD can erode intimacy, create tension with a partner, and increase stress and emotional exhaustion.
Why Standard Therapy May Not Be Enough
The right type of therapy is essential for effectively treating ROCD. Evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), combined with Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), have decades of research demonstrating their effectiveness. These structured types of therapy help individuals tolerate intrusive doubts, resist compulsive behaviors, and rebuild confidence in their feelings, decision-making, and relationships.
While weekly therapy sessions can provide meaningful support, many people with ROCD benefit from more frequent, intensive treatment (i.e., an Intensive Outpatient Program, also referred to as IOP treatment). Constantly replaying interactions, scanning a partner for flaws, or seeking reassurance can interfere with daily life and feel overwhelming, making it difficult to consistently apply skills learned in a single weekly session. For those who feel their relationships are at stake, faster and more consistent support can be particularly helpful.
Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs) provide multiple sessions each week, offering structured guidance, accountability, and practice opportunities in real time. This consistent, hands-on approach helps individuals notice and accept intrusive thoughts and uncomfortable feelings without judgment, rather than getting stuck in cycles of obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviors. Clients learn to focus on what matters most in their relationships, take values-driven action, and build the skills needed to stay engaged and connected, even when doubts or anxiety arise.
Overview of IOP Treatment for OCD in Austin, TX
Austin Anxiety and OCD Specialists offers an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) specifically designed for individuals struggling with OCD, including Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD). Our program provides multiple individualized therapy sessions each week, incorporating evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
While we do offer optional OCD group therapy sessions, our IOP is unique as it emphasizes a personalized, one-on-one approach to IOP therapy. Each client works closely with an OCD expert to create a treatment plan tailored to their unique experiences, relationship history, and personal goals. Rather than using a generic, one-size-fits-all approach, this individualized care targets the specific patterns of ROCD, helping clients strategically notice intrusive thoughts, accept uncomfortable feelings, and take meaningful actions in line with their relationship values. Over time, this approach empowers clients to regain confidence in their decisions and rebuild trust in themselves and their partner.
Benefits of IOP Treatment at Austin Anxiety and OCD Specialists
Personalized treatment plans addressing each client’s unique ROCD symptoms and thought patterns.
Consistent, structured sessions that provide frequent support, accountability, and hands-on practice or practical skills.
Tools and strategies to help strategically notice intrusive thoughts, accept discomfort without judgment, and reduce compulsive behaviors.
Developing the ability to recognize when anxiety is signaling a real concern versus when it is noise distracting from your values and priorities.
Guidance in navigating relationship challenges while staying aligned with values-driven actions rather than compulsive seeking reassurance.
A safe, confidential environment to explore distressing thoughts and practice new coping skills in real-life situations.
Flexible scheduling options, with sessions available online or in-person at our Round Rock, Austin, or Westlake offices.
With specialized, evidence-based care, clients learn to differentiate between normal relationship doubts or fleeting discomfort, like “the ick,” and anxiety-driven obsessions and compulsions that require intervention. By noticing and accepting intrusive thoughts instead of acting on them, clients can reduce compulsive behaviors, rebuild trust in their judgment, and reconnect with their partner in meaningful, fulfilling ways.
If you or a loved one is struggling with persistent doubts, obsessive thoughts, or compulsive behaviors in your relationship, you are not alone, and help is available. At Austin Anxiety and OCD Specialists, our ROCD Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) in Austin, TX, offers a personalized approach to help you regain control, manage anxiety, and rebuild confidence in your relationships. Reach out today to learn how our compassionate team can support you in creating healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Begin Navigating Relationship OCD with an OCD IOP in Austin, TX
When relationship-focused OCD (ROCD) starts to take over your thoughts and leave you questioning your connections, it can feel overwhelming and isolating. At Austin Anxiety and OCD Specialists, our OCD IOP in Austin, TX, is designed to provide structured, evidence-based care that bridges the gap between weekly therapy and inpatient treatment. With a balance of accountability and flexibility, we help you manage intrusive thoughts, reduce compulsions, and rebuild trust in yourself and your relationships—all while keeping up with your daily life.
Here’s how to get started working with our team:
Contact us at hello@austinanxiety.com or 512-246-7225 to schedule a free consultation.
Learn more about how our OCD IOP in Austin, TX, can specifically support clients struggling with ROCD.
We’ll answer your questions, explain your options, and guide you toward the next step in your recovery journey.
Additional Therapy Options at Austin Anxiety and OCD Specialists in Austin, TX
Every person’s experience with anxiety, OCD, or related conditions is unique, which is why our support goes well beyond our Intensive Outpatient Program. We work with children, teens, and adults facing concerns such as OCD, phobias, panic disorder, generalized anxiety, PTSD, social anxiety, selective mutism, emetophobia, separation anxiety, depression, tics, and body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs). Our clinicians also provide parent coaching, SPACE treatment, psychological assessments, and group therapy, with the added convenience of virtual sessions available anywhere in Texas.
We’re also proud to host Camp Courage, an engaging program where kids and teens can gradually confront fears, strengthen coping skills, and build lasting confidence in a safe, supportive setting.
Whether you’re looking for early intervention or a structured treatment plan, our care is always collaborative, personalized, and guided by what matters most to you. Each therapist on our team is dedicated to providing evidence-based strategies with compassion, respect, and a genuine understanding of what it means to live with anxiety.
Get to Know Our Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) Team in Austin, TX
At Austin Anxiety and OCD Specialists, our Intensive Outpatient Program is led by a team of skilled and caring clinicians who combine clinical knowledge with genuine compassion. We work with children, adolescents, and adults navigating anxiety, OCD, and related issues, always providing personalized care that reflects each client’s values, goals, and stage of life.
Dr. Samantha Myhre, PhD – Assistant Clinical Director & IOP Coordinator
Dr. Myhre is highly trained in evidence-based approaches for anxiety and OCD, with additional expertise in mindfulness practices, depression, and challenges related to self-worth. She sees clients ages six and up, offering a collaborative and supportive style that encourages clarity, confidence, and meaningful progress.
Ann Elise focuses on adult clients and holds certification in perinatal mental health through Postpartum Support International. With specialized training in anxiety, OCD, trauma, and postpartum support, she blends CBT, ACT, ERP, and EMDR to help individuals reconnect with themselves and create lasting change.
Ayla has extensive experience working with children, teens, and families facing OCD, ADHD, anxiety, and behavioral challenges. She integrates CBT, ERP, and PCIT in a strengths-based approach, empowering young clients to face fears, grow resilience, and apply coping skills in everyday life.
Dr. Youssef primarily supports adolescents and young adults navigating OCD, depression, and anxiety. With cultural sensitivity and warmth, she tailors evidence-based treatment to the individual, fostering safety, authenticity, and space for sustainable growth.
Whether you’re seeking care for yourself, your teen, or your child, our IOP team offers age-appropriate, compassionate support designed to help you move forward with confidence. We walk alongside you through both challenges and breakthroughs, every step of the way.